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• Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"



• 
  
  What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
  Magnets have a positive side!




• 
  The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
  




• Q: What does a blonde owl say?
  
  A: What, what?
  
  



• WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
  
  



• What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
  The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
  




• Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
  Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
  
  



• Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
  He was looking for Pooh!
  



• 
  What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
  You don't, you've told her twice already!
  



• 
  What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
  One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors
  
  



• Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
  
  A: Her IQ goes up.